120 minutes

Dear 495 drivers (especially those from out of state),
   Thank you for hitting your breaks when going around curves on the beltway.  I do appreciate it taking me 120 minutes to go 40 miles for my evening commute.
  On a side note, I would personally like to thank you for driving slow in the left hand lane.  This allows me to practice my drafting skills and my race car noises.

Kindest,
The Girl in Winning Blue

P.S. Virginia, I am looking at you.

THANK YOU

Dear Who Ever I Need To Thank,
  I would just like to take the time to thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I've been at my new job for about 6 weeks now, and I have to say that my 10 mile commute home has not taken more than 45 minutes, and very rarely has it taken that long.  I'm not sure who is responsible for this, but they need to be thanked, kissed, and just plain bum-rushed with affection.
  Respectfully Yours,
The Girl in Winning Blue

PS.  The very sad thing is that I'm not being sarcastic at all.  And I'm fairly certain that tonight's commute will SUCK because I posted this.

Doors Opening - WMATA tales of adventure

Dear Washington, DC Metro riders at Friendship Heights Metro Station,
  Every morning I get off the train, and every morning you bum rush me to get on a the train.  Three things.
#1 You know, the doors are still going to wait for me to get off even if you don't, right?  You pushing me out of the way won't speed up the train leaving the station.
#2  Back the f*** up before I launch my body directly at you, out of the doors once I hear "Doors Opening".  It is 8:15am and I am not awake enough to be polite and too tired to care.  Dangerous combination
#3 When I exclaim very loudly "Oh, excuse me, was I in your way?" I'm being sarcastic. 

Kindly,
The Girl in Winning Blue

How fast are you going?

Dear Mr. Road Bicyclist,
  Please do not ride your bike on any road when there is a very clearly marked "Bike Path" that runs parallel to the street.  As it turns out, you look like you are wearing a sausage casing, and you really can't go as fast as road traffic is supposed to go on said road.  Please kindly move onto the bike path, and stop causing traffic to go 15 mph just because you are tired. 

  Not everyone should pay for your choice to be healthy.

Warmest Regards,
The Girl in Winning Blue

LA Boxing

Dear LA Boxing,
  Please get rid of your horrible commercials where you have a DJ say "handle your business!" in a horrible voice.  Come on.  Use those marketing dollars!  The current commercial is just horrible.  HORRIBLE! 

Thanks!
The Girl in Winning Blue

Say it with me, BLINKERS

Dear (insert pretentious car brand here) owner,
  Next time you buy a ___(Lexus, BMW, etc) where you feel the need to show off how much money you make, or think you make - please invest in the model that comes with blinkers.

  It's clear from your ability to weave in an out of traffic at high speeds that you know how to change lanes.  Why not invest in a contraption that will alert others of your intentions? 

  Warmest Regards,
  The Girl in Winning Blue

P.S.  You should check out some cheaper cars - blinkers come standard! 

The Butcher of Rockville!

Dear Citizens of Rockville,
 
There appears to be a killer on the loose in Rockville, MD.  The M.O. seems to be to cut off the heads of women who have way to much makeup on and display them as a trophy in the back of their car.  Police are totally unaware of this situation.  Please be warned that the killer is posing as a Hair Stylist.

 

  Sincerely,

  The Crime Fighting Girl in Winning Blue

Why yes, yes you are!

Dear Chain Grocery Store,

  Thank you for having a sense of humor regarding your delievery trucks.  You're claim is that you are a Racing Raisin.  Having never seen a raisin that actually races, I can only assume that yes, you are in fact a Racing Raisin!

  Warmly,

  The Girl in Winning Blue

You think my girlfriend's dirty....

Dear Mysterious Downtown Silver Spring Resident,

  Thank you for writing on a very dirty car "I wish my girlfriend was this dirty."  It made me stop in my tracks and double over in laughter.

  Warmest Regards,
  The Girl in Winning Blue

Is it really that important?

Dear Facebook Users,


When there is a blizzard out, and you are unfortunate enough to be in your car, please refrain from taking a picture of said blizzard to update your mobile uploads with the caption "roads suck" or something similar.

Your lack of concern for your fellow motorists is appalling.

Thanks for your attention to this matter,

The Girl in Winning Blue

Hey man, I like your snow-hawk

Dear DC Drivers,
  Please take the extra time to clear off the top of your car so that you don't have a snow-hawk.  Please don't penalize the rest of us for you being lazy.
  Warmest regards,
  The Girl in Winning Blue

Is it really that hard?

Dear Drivers on 495,
  Please learn how to drive on the stretch of road between Wisconsin Avenue and University Avenue.  Stop texting, stop slowing down to 45 mph on a curve of road that has been slopped so you can speed on it.  When a faster driver comes up behind you, please move out of their way.  Or do you enjoy the speeding traffic weaving in and out of lanes in a high speed game of Frogger?

Please - for the love of all that is good, learn to drive on 495.

Warmest Regards,
The Girl in Winning Blue

Driving in Rain Requires a PHD?

Dear Maryland drivers,
  I just wanted to let you know that the recent wet stuff falling from the sky is called rain.  Please learn to drive in it. 
  Thank you,
  The Girl in Winning Blue

Marry me right here, right now!

Dear Creepy Guys Hanging Out in a Parked Car at Montgomery Mall,
  The way to a woman's heart is not having a staring contest with said woman while she walks by your truck and yelling out "Hey Cutie!!!"  Perhaps I should rephrase.  It's not the way to any woman's heart that is worth having.  Please rethink your "approach" to the fairer sex, test it out a few times and then we can come back to the issue.

  I will be happy to give you pointers then.

Kind regards,
  The Girl Walking towards Winning Blue.

Honk! Honk!

Dear Driver Behind Me Waiting to Turn onto Democracy Blvd During Rush Hour,

Just because you are comfortable putting your life in danger and pulling into 3 lanes of traffic with very small spaces between cars at 8 am doesn't mean the rest of the world is. Kindly stop honking your horn and waking up this nice residential neighborhood. Just because we are awake and (semi)functioning doesn't mean they are.

Kindly,

The Girl in Winning Blue